Just some cool quotes I found

I love quotes. Here's a few fun ones! Enjoy!

 

1. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
2. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
3. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
4. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
5. I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness
6. If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
7. My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?
8. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
9. If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
10. A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
11. You can't be late until you show up.
12. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
13. A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
14. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
15. Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
16. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard
17. You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.
18. Evolutionists have proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.
19. It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.
20. It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
21. The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
22. Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
23. A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
24. An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the president but is always polite to traffic cops.
25. Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer.