The Free World Charter

The Free World Charter: Let's make everything free.

Guidelines For Cats

Anyone who owns a cat will understand. This is hilarious and very true about our furry little friends.

Doors: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

Chairs and Rugs: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.
Bathrooms: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything . . . just sit and stare.

Hampering: For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself. For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what the humans may tell you.

Sleeping: In order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of sleep. It is generally not difficult to find a comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good, especially if it contrasts with your fur color. If it's in a sunbeam or near a heating duct or radiator, so much the better. Of course, good places also exist outdoors, but have the disadvantages of being seasonal and dependent on current and previous weather conditions such as rain. Open windows are a good compromise.

Play: This is an important part of your life. Get enough sleep in the daytime so you are fresh for your nocturnal games. Below are listed several favorite cat games that you can play. It is important, though, to maintain one's dignity at all times. If you should have an accident during play, such as falling off a chair, immediately wash a part of your body as if to say "I meant to do that!" It fools those humans every time.

 

Cat Games: Catch Mouse: The humans would have you believe that those lumps under the covers are their feet and hands. They are lying. They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat has ever been able to catch one. Rumor also has it that only the most ferocious attack can stun them long enough for you to dive under the covers to get them. Maybe YOU can be the first to taste the Bed Mouse!

Paper Bags: Within paper bags dwell the bag mice. They are small and camouflaged to be the same color as the bag, so they are hard to see. But you can easily hear the crinkling noises they make as they scurry around the bag. Anything, up to and including shredding the bag, can be done to kill them. Note: any other cat you may find in a bag hunting for bag mice is fair game for a sneak attack, which will usually result in a great Tagmatch.

Scratching Posts: It is advised that cats use any scratching post the humans may provide. They are very protective of what they think is their property and will object strongly if they catch you sharpening your claws on it. Being sneaky and doing it when they aren't around won't help, as they are very observant. If you are an outdoor kitty, trees are good. Sharpening your claws on a human is not recommended.

Human Inconsistency: Humans spend many hours sitting in front of a box with moving pictures, tapping tiny squares on a board with their fingertips...it is rumored that this is actually how humans sharpen their claws!  Considering how sanctimonious they are when they catch cats sharpening their claws, humans obviously need a lesson in consistency.  One of the best ways to do this is to walk on the board with the tiny squares...that will always get a huge reaction from the human, a good indication that you're actually teaching them something!  If that doesn't work, lay on the board or throw up a furball on it!  There's no good reason why humans should be allowed to sharpen their claws while forbidding cats to do so!

Cat Speak: Humans will sometimes try to speak in cat language, attempting to 'meow' at you while having no real idea what they're saying!  Cats can either meow back and try and fool the human into thinking that there is a real connection going on, or they can stare at the human with a puzzled look on their face...after all, the human just told you that your mother was the whore of every tomcat in town!  Did they mean that or did they simply not understand the implications of their attempting to meow?  It's hard to say, as the level of human advancement in this area is very limited...about the only 'catspeak' they actually understand is "I'm starving" and "Let me out...NOW!"  If they have truly insulted you or your family, feel free to either tell them how stupid they are in cat language or walk away indignantly.

Hope you enjoyed these guidelines for cats!

My Dream House

My dream house would be a farmhouse or cabin on a ranch. I want a bunch of animals: cats, dogs, cows, sheep, buffalo, pigs, chickens, horses etc... I also want to have a barn or two, and also a guesthouse for when my family visits. I want to have a few hundred acres of property which includes a forest/woods, a pond, a river, and a bunch of grass and trees and flowers and such. I want to have fish in the pond and river so that I can go fishing whenever I want and bring home some dinner. I also want to be able to go horseback riding a lot.

I want to have a bunch of pets, but I don't want them to run away or get eaten by coyotes because that has happened to many of my cats and it is very saddening. Thus, I will have a big fenced off area of the property for my pets so that they can still go play outside, but cannot run away and no animal can come in to get to them. It will also have a top so the cats can't climb up the fence and jump out. There will be no way for my pet to escape or get eaten or wounded by a wild animal.

My house will be very large and at least three stories, including a basement. It will have a bunch of wood fireplaces and also maybe some solar panels for a renewable source of heat. It will have a huge library with a ton of books (and also a fireplace) and possibly even a kitchen so you can be cozy and well-fed while reading. The house will have a large recreation room with the works: a pool table, ping pong table, weights, card tables, ect... There will also be an indor and/or outdoor pool and hot tub.

My house will be very comfortable and homey, but far away from everywhere else, even with a dirt or gravel road running up to it so people will be disinclined to stop by and so my family and I can live in peace and solidarity.

Obviously, these are high aspirations, but at least it gives me something to hope and strive for in the future.

Just some cool quotes I found

I love quotes. Here's a few fun ones! Enjoy!

 

1. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
2. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
3. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
4. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
5. I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness
6. If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
7. My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?
8. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
9. If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
10. A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
11. You can't be late until you show up.
12. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
13. A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
14. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
15. Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
16. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard
17. You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.
18. Evolutionists have proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.
19. It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.
20. It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
21. The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
22. Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
23. A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
24. An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the president but is always polite to traffic cops.
25. Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer.

A Little More Country Than That -- Easton Corbin

The first time I heard this song, I thought it was George Strait. Easton Corbin sounds so much like him! I am very glad that another awesome "down-home" country singer is becoming famous. Country music has been getting a little off-course with some of the new singers out there right now. The old ones are still good role models, though some of them, like Reba McEntire, are also leaning more towards pop music instead of country.

Country music is my favorite. I can stand listening to other music, except rap, if I have to, but if I had my way, I'd always listen to country. I never used to be into music. I got an iPod when I was a freshman in high school, but it stayed empty for quite a while because I didn't care much for music. It wasn't until I moved here to Nevada that I grew fond of country music. We went to the Reno Rodeo two times that summer, and I wore cowgirl boots, a cowgirl hat, and everything. From that point on, I was way into country, wearing cowgirl boots to school and around town. And I listen to country music whenever I can. I listen to it while doing homework a lot.

This song may be my favorite country music song because it describes the "country" lifestyle and also implies that all the other ways of living aren't good. I have been rather disappointed in country music because of the singers it has been putting in the spotlight, like Miranda Lambert, Kid Rock, Jerrod Niemann, and Steel Magnolia. They don't represent country music and have more  of a pop style which I don't like. Hopefully Easton Corbin and some other new country singers will get country music back on track.

The Enchantment of Poetry

Lately, I've been fascinated by poetry.

We've been studying many poems in my English 102 class at TMCC, and I guess this has sparked an interest in me. I have always been somewhat interested in poetry, but my teachers always tried too hard to beat it into me and make me write it. This year, however, my English teaching is beating poetry into me harder and faster than ever before, but for some reason I am enjoying it more this rime around. Maybe it is because we are simply dissecting poetry that famous poets have written and I do not have to write my own poetry. I have written many poems in the past, and I am revisiting and critiquing them, but I am still very proud of myself for writing them. They are actually really good, I think. Though, I still do not greatly enjoy writing poetry. But I appreciate poets who do and emerge with beautiful, effective poems which have an insightful, discernible theme about humanity or the world. Some poems annoy me because I cannot figure them out, but I love the feeling I get when I actually can figure out a poem and what each stanza, line, and word means.

I am enthralled by a poem's ability to succinctly express significant meanings in such a creative and attractive way.
This explains why I've been posting a lot about poetry lately, and surely there will be more to come as I dig up old poems I wrote or study more of them.

Mud-lucious and Puddle-wonderful

E.E. Cummings

in Just-

spring          when the world is mud-

luscious the little

lame balloonman

whistles          far          and wee

and eddieandbill come

running from marbles and

piracies and it's

spring

when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer

old balloonman whistles

far          and             wee

and bettyandisbel come dancing

from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it's

spring

and

         the

                  goat-footed

balloonMan          whistles

far

and

wee

The first time I read this poem, I awkwardly stumbled through it since I was trying to read it according to its irregular format and spacing. I did not like the poem at first, because of this initial annoyance. But as I read it more, I figured out that I actually understood it better when I read it quickly and altogether, without many pauses between lines. Cummings did this intentionally, to show the hasty life of a child where everything is there, but it is all blurred together by the rush of events and the captivity of the moment. I grew to like the poem because of its carefree, unique quality and the picture it painted in my mind. It made me reminisce to my childhood when I would jump in puddles and get all muddy. This memory made me happy, and I now greatly admire E.E. Cummings and his ability to describe the blissful, rapid life of a child.

Cummings wrote this poem from the perspective of a child, describing the world as children see it: a mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful world. The poem has a highly erratic format, with random line breaks spacing. This is how life seems as a child, haphazard and confusing, with everything all jumbled up and happening at once. It is very difficult, sometimes impossible, for children to understand the world, just like the format of this poem makes it difficult to understand. They see the world as a big playground for them to fool around on. The format of this poem reminds me of a playground, with different sized bars and poles and various structures for children to play on. Children lead simple lives, with the boys playing marbles and pretending to be pirates and the girls playing hop-scotch and jump-rope. Even children notice the distinction between genders, and the boys tend to play stereotypically boyish games while the girls join together to play stereotypically girly games. The boys unite with each other and the girls unite with each other, which is shown by the combining of the two boy names eddie and bill and combining the two girl names betty and isabel.

These are not capitalized, which shows that children do not know, and do not care about, the strict rules of language. Also, they only see life as what it is in that particular moment, which is expressed by the phrase “in-Just spring.” The children in this poem do not see anything beyond spring, and they do not care what lies in the future; all they care about is what is currently happening. They are unafraid to be different and listen when the balloonman calls them with his whistle, eager to see what he wants. Cummings is recreating the world from the point of view of children, and I also think that Cummings wants the reader to remember something from his or her childhood that was enjoyable. This would lead them to realize that being a child was a wonderful, happy experience and motivate them to adopt some of the qualities they used to possess as children, such as individuality, eccentricity, and vivacity. Cummings is encouraging his readers to be more like children, untroubled by what others think and focused on enjoying life while it is still available. He alludes to this by describing the loss of childhood when the children come to the balloonman and the speed of the poem is decreased by adding more line breaks and longer spaces. Also, the balloonman whistles at the end, but the children do not come.This change signifies the loss of the energy and enthusiasm of childhood, which is sad, and makes readers want it to come back. Cummings may be persuading the readers that it can return, if they embrace some qualities of children and live life to the fullest while they still can. He encourages readers to be different and resist conformity, concepts which he has fully embraced, as demonstrated by the intentionally unique formatting of his poem. He has gone against the grain and exploited his freedom of expression, and invites readers to do the same.